I'll be more diligent.

Yes I will.
No more no-updates for a whole month.

I am Beautiful.

"Beautiful"

from www.azlyrics.com

[Spoken]Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful

Then suddenly, it's hard to breathe

Now and then, I get insecure

From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring me down

So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious

So consumed in all your doom

Trying hard to fill the emptiness

The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone

Is that the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring you down

You are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring you down

Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do

(no matter what we do)

No matter what we say

(no matter what we say)

We're the song inside the tune

Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go

(everywhere we go)

The sun will always shine

(sun will always shine)

And tomorrow we might wake on the other side

All the other times

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring us down

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring us down

Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today

I am smart. I am good. I am confident. I am optimistic. I am introspective.
I am beautiful.

Work @ Sunday.

Oh well I need to persuade myself that no big deal having need to work on Sunday with a 5-workday job. Maybe sometimes those standby money is NOT just an add-on to your pathetic amount of salary. THIS is why I guess.

I realised I have not been update for like 20 over days. *feeling guilty* Thoughts running through my head always at the most inappropriate time, as I've already announced, my com is dead.

Couple of things has begin in my life =) New chapter! Yeah Yeah!! First I took Japanese Language course (finally). Then things getting more and more ai4 mei4 between me and this guy K (ok no name mention). And god know how I hate this kind of situation. Then DLee and I actually have this silly flower exchange on V-day itself. It's kindda silly yet heart-warming. I guess these are some of the major one I can recall. Not to mention everyday have to come down to work, la.

Incubation time is almost up and guess engine need to start cracking.
Gah!! Stupid lehz need to work today.
K called me yesterday and asked if it's alright to meet up today. It's just too bad I have to work. Aiiz fate.

Think another way, I won't have Monday blue tomorrow! ;)

Uh. The second month already.

I seriously think that I need to take a break from the seriousness that has prevailed over the past couple of days. At work place of course. I guess home has nothing too much for me to worry, or feel like escape from. I'm a very 'home' person. I miss my family already even though we are just of distance of Tebrau Strait.

Happy new year.

I feel like I'm living in a plantation. So close to nature. If you close your eyes, you can just nearly imagine that. The overwhelming aroma of the pots of exotic flowers scattered around the house (that will normally wither by the 4th day of new year). And it's simply too much for my olfactory epithelium. The point is even if you like all the spices (cinnamon, saffron, vanilla, star anise, coriander etc.), you can't add all of them in your soup. And it happens every chinese new year. Happy new year.

Wahahah

This is sooOOOOOoooo funny. Okie-la probably not too funny.



It strucks me that somehow people like to ask stupid question.
And to revenge, throw back stupid answer. ;)
Ok ok.. the answer of x is 5 according to the Pythagorean Theorem. *grin* I know I'm a very good student most of the time for being return everything I learned, to the respective teacher or lecturer. But I just still remember this. Hmm... Just let me be wick for this one time.

Grrr.... Commie com spoilt

My com is spoilt. It's dead. The mother-board die on me. Not only that, for the next few days all the electrical appliances (cordless phone, tv, etc..)in my room got spoilt one by one. This is so furious.

Although TS strongly recommend that i should just throw away my current com or just give it to the galang guni man during the give-away day, I just can't bring myself to do it. simply no extra money to anyhow change. Ok maybe I'll try to save some money to have it repair I guess?

For time being, it can happily become one of the decorations in my room without need to work too much. Good for you commie com! And damn your owner will be bore to death during the weekend of she doesn't have any date then.

I'm a genius!!

I was reading the entry some days ago in which I was in the mood of "Oh long weekend is sOoOoOo nice".
And I realise I'm gonna work on 7th January, Saturday when I was flipping through my organiser.

And I will get day-off on 9th, the subsequent Monday. And 10th itself is Hari Raya Haji. That means for that week I would have 3 days off from 8th to 10th.

Oh my god I'm a genius. And I swear that I didn't think about that when Miss Ma asked me about the schedule for January.

I'm so proud of myself. ;)

Media power.

The papers on last week reported on the traffic situation at Causeway. Bad. And so as the news on TV. Oh so everybody thought that for the long weekend it's gonna be so heavy traffic travel, whether to or fro, JB. Okie, Malaysia.

By the way, I glanced through this signboard somewhere at the underpass of JB after the Malaysia checkpoint. (Sorry no picture.) And it says:
"Selamat datang ke Bandaraya Sejahtera"

Correct me if I'm wrong. But does it mean "Welcome to the City of Peace"?

Oh or is it suppose to be some slogan N years back?

Anyway, the media reported about the traffic situition at the Causeway and everyone so paranoid about that. But as a matter of fact it was so clear you don't believe it.

And here am I back to Singapore at this time of 3.15pm not knowing what the hell I'm doing here, back to here so damn early.

I should have eat some "zhi bao ji" before I come back.

un-Chrismassy mood

I have to admit that compare to previous years I'm not really in Chrismassy mood (anymore) 'coz I'm not a Christian. Ok previously I was 'coz Christmas in Singapore is so different. People take it so seriously whether christian or non-christian.

But for this year all I care is the long weekend.

*Wick smile*

I'm sorry Santa please forgive me. Hahaha is there really Santa?

WTF?

Enough is enough.

I really had enough with those people-- When you ask for their opinion, they said "Anything", but they DON'T really mean that.

What they really mean is "Anything, like... [insert personal preference here]"

Except they omitted the last part.

Hello. People can't read your mind. And most people ain't so free to actually go and guess what's on your mind. It's not like I'm having a crush on you ok?!

Just say out what is really on your mind when people asked. They won't feel offend. In fact, they will feel so glad you don't believe it.

And this is it. No more outing organize by me. Thank you everyone.

Quite long time never update. Not busy lar. Just being lazy. =D I like being lazy. and carefree. It feels nice.

I'm now like my job more. Yeah previously not that like this job. But somehow or rather now can adapt more. And to accept what people always say: FATE. Erm it's the the nature of job I'm handling. More info and insider-story? Contact me personally. Hehee.

Think that's for today. I'm a bit worry that my colleagues will see this.

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday horz ~Jie. Miss ya*

Grrrrrrrrrr.......

My tummy has been aching since noon. I've eaten po kai wan but it ain't getting better. Darn. Think I better don't go for the meet-up with beh and zz and a-jia and hoe later. Sianz.

Think from the other side! Yesterday burned a big whole in wallet already. No harm staying at home la k. Next week is rather hectic also. ;)

I like being busy nowadays. It keeps me moving. And it feels good. Now my aim is to get motivate and start exercise. Have been lazy for like.. months? Damn I could see the chocolate bar lying in fron of me on my desk mocking at me.

Tomorrow is a brand new week!! Things will turn better!! I don't care and I just believe in it. That's it. ;)

Little world of MY own

Went out with Denise today. We are not those friends who must meet very now and then, but we are close friend. Close enough to share each others' burden and secrets. And yea she's single like me also. If not who else you think that would be available during the weekend? Apparently not those already got attached.

Denise is usually outgoing. And friendly. And nice to everyone. Oh yea she could be mean to those guy who she thinks are a bit "idiotic". She always tell me that being outgoing is imperative la, practice on people you meet la, smile, and say hello and ask 'em how they're doing la, and bla bla.

But I'm just being low profile. Okay you can say that I'm shy. But I'm happy to be in just the little world of MY own.

With no disturbance. ;)

Departure

Maybe the word "departure" is too hard a word to use 'coz it's not the end of the world. And all she did is to leave the work place she dislikes so much.

I would hate that as well, if I'm in her shoe.

Sumi finally decided to leave her current job, in which her lab was just next to mine. Almost all of us who did our orientation together with her, after getting know her more, know that she's not going to stay on at this job for long.

And we are right. She stayed for only 1 month and 1 week.

It's kindda strange for me to feel like someone is indeed a close friend to me for only this short period. And Sumi is definitely one of them. There are too many times that we share very same view on some issues that we blurted out the very same words at the very same time (except when it comes to her "sweet guy". Urgh.). Hmm weird enough. And she's Indian. As of, my English a bit cannot make it lehz. Weird right.

She says it's because we are both Cancerian. Funny. I never know she's so into horoscope given her characters.

I know I'm gonna miss her. Now there are nobody to chit-chat and ha-la with while I need to wait for the bloody 10 minutes centrifugation time.

L.A.T.E

Today is the very first time in which I'm the last one to leave in the lab. Whole lab. Can't imagine huh? 'Coz I'm always so damn impatient in almost everything I do. Hmm correction. Ok being late is one of the bad habit I'm working on k. ;) I do hope that I can pass my probation here. Peacefully.

And now I'm waiting for the centrifuge to finally finish spinning. Ghee I hate centrifuge. It has funny smell most of the time. and each centrifugation takes a good 10 minutes. Gee, What the hell I'm suppose to do in this 10 min? I'll be so frustrated if I need to take off my glove, do my things, and later wear glove again. Oh yeah I hate the glove also.

Talking about that, HBao told me that methanol actually can go through glove and evaporate on our skin. Goodness. No wonder I keep thinking that my hands are getting rough. Think I'll need SKII soon. For my hands. Shit.

Tired. Late. And hungry.

Rants

Looking back one of the previous posts in my previous blog and I saw this:

"Damn it! I wonder will he try to break the ice? Shit. I’ve been buying things from Cold Storage HV branch. At this rate going, I’ll soon be very broke indeed! Hmph!"

Was written sometimes back in Jun/Jul/Aug (Sorry! My sense of timing is sucks.) Then again now working full time and quit SSTei already so I don't shop at Cold Storage HV that often now. But I think I will remember this cashier guy ba. Of course not-daring enough to say for the rest of my life la. Then again it was he who make me feel like going-to-work-also-not-bad-what, although it's only for like.. 10 seconds? wahahah how come I sound like little innocent girl having crush on someone.. Well I did.. Well I didn't. It doesn't matter anymore.

I think he did notice me back then. But he quit already way before I quit SSTei. Ha funny. I shall not talk about this anymore in the future.

Bless you cashier guy.

聪明反被聪明误版 << 国王的新衣>>

P国王终于穿上了他那件话说只有聪明人才看得见的新衣，在大街上游行。人民"看"了国王的新衣后，不但没有人取笑他，反而称赞国王穿衣大方得体，非常好看，因为人民都认为他们自己是聪明的。从此以后，在P国里大量出售了国王商标的 "只有聪明人才看得见" 的隐形衣服。

自从隐形衣服在市场上大量出售后，人民纷纷都把隐形衣穿上，以便表示他们的聪明与大方。不久以后这已传遍全世界。来自世界各地的商人也不约而同的来到P国购买"只有聪明人才看见"的隐形衣回到他们的祖国。自此，全世界的人民已经兴起了"不穿衣服风"了。而P国王也在这场买卖生意中得到了不少利益。不出三个月时间，P国王也被全世界的人民认为是"女人的救世主"，因为全世界的色狼已经灭种了。为此，P国王得了一张金文凭，被誉为对世界最有贡献的人。

好景不常在，世界气温突然严重下降。人民纷纷购买大量的隐形衣服，准备取暖。不出三天，全世界的人民差不多全都被冻死了。现在大家才知道，他们一直以来在做着愚蠢的事。 "不穿衣服风" 在此正式结束。

..emotional perplexity..

Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on this really narrow bar stick hanging somewhere high up there, trying hard to keep balance ‘coz any mishap leads to very painful fall. Balance in family, friends, work, and personal life. I must admit that I’m damn a quiescent person who don’t really like to mix around most of the time and so personal life is so important to me. Good thing I don’t have to make commitment to relationship (yet). It actually doesn’t really matter to me, but yet it DOES matter ‘coz most of the time it won’t just affect me, but others around me as well. This equilibrium sense, not easy to describe ‘coz it cannot be seen, heard, or felt. But it’s haunting me, in a way. I guess the vestibular apparatus deep inside my inner ear is not functioning well enough?

Damn... I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall....

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Sometimes I wonder if everyone around me will grow up to this certain age and start acting old. As in, really old, where conversations are mostly in the past tense, starting every story with introductory retrospections on past events that had taken place in that halcyon days of youth and using words like "used to", "if I was younger", "in my younger days" or "you are too young to understand" too frequently. Or even develop a liking for those newborn monstersbabies that cry too much?? Couldn’t imagine how life can possibly go on that way. Suddenly I could understand how Peter Pan feels.

あたたかい

あたたかい

Anyone with the faintest knowledge about Hiragana in Jap knows that it's pronounce as 'atatakai'. It means 'warm'. Despite the fact that I appear cold to others-- well, some of them. It's like a barrier, or rather, a protective shield I need to built up around me, in order not to get hurt.

Anyway hope that by keeping this blog, if long enough, will somehow or rather, keep the inner side of me warm. This city and this people, are getting cold.
And so as the weather.

Samui. Cold.